I am a horrible wife! I completely lost it on Mike tonight! Mikes toxin levels are very high right now and that makes him loopy as I have said before, when he gets like this he gets cold so I told him to turn off the ceiling fan. He got up and turned off the fan and turned on the light. He told me he needed to turn on the light, I told him it was already on and he told me he needed it off so we turned it off. This went on for awhile and then I lost it!
I started laughing and couldn't stop! I was trying to explain to him what I thought he was trying to do but I couldn't stop laughing. He was getting so frustrated with me, Mallory heard the commotion and came to see what was going on. He started trying to get her to help him but he was asking for something he had just done. He was trying to turn the fan off but kept telling us he needed to turn off the light. He needed to permanently turn off the cold. I wish you could have been here to see it, it's like one of those stories that isn't as funny when you try to tell it again.
You probably think I am a horrible person. Who laughs at their husband when he's sick? Apparently me. I think I was laughing because I really wanted to cry.
He has been talking to me all night about his feet. He needs a right foot. He needs 2 right feet. From what I can piece together his right foot is itchy and he can't find the words to explain this to me. He just keeps telling me he needs a right foot.
He is finally asleep and i had a chance to talk to Mallory, I asked her if she was ok, she said she was, but I know how hard this is on her to see her dad like this. She is stressed. It is draining to deal with him when he is like this. I told her this is why I ask them to help around the house more then they would like, it's hard to try to deal with him all day and then try to keep up the housework also.
I can't wait for the resurrection when both Mike and myself will have perfect bodies again. The struggles we face now will not plague us then. I look forward to that day!
I have empathy for you on this point.
ReplyDeleteI remember those days too clearly. It was tough trying to discern wether the current fogginess was from Ammonia, diabetes, or UTI ( she got those frequently too).
She would often have such a comical expression on her face when she was completely over the rainbow, I couldn't help trying to be on her level, going along with her to some extent, trying to keep from alarming her while trying to see if it was something we could handle, or if we needed professional help. Sometimes we would laugh till we cried, sometimes I just cried while she laughed. Other times she would be so lost and scared that all I could do was to hold her close, and try to reassure her.
I hope you don't hold hard feelings against yourself over this! Caring, monitoring, and providing for your Spouse under these conditions can be completely consuming at times, when you yet a chance for some light humor together, it's a much needed change of pace.
I do believe that as much, (and often) as we feel in adequate for the challenge, if God wanted someone different trying to help him through this, he could have arranged it. He chose you because he trusts you!